


Chances

by pippen2112



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cam Girl Kai, Emotions, F/M, Growing Up, M/M, Masturbation, Miscommunication, Multi, Reunions, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex Work, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Repression, Suckington Week, communicating like adults, negative self-talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-04 23:59:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippen2112/pseuds/pippen2112
Summary: Wash hasn’t seen Kai or Tuckerr since the day he left for his internship with the Project for At-Risk Youth. And when he came back home for Christmas that year, they were gone.  Kai had graduated early, and Tucker and Grif were off at some cooking school.  And in the nine years--fuck, that’s almost a third of my life--since then, they’d never managed to be in the same place.  Until now.Written for Suckington Week 2017.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in a modern AU where Wash's family takes in foster kids Tucker and Kai, and later Tucker, Wash and Kai develop sexual and romantic attractions to one another. Please do not read if the idea is squicky to you. In later chapters there will be referenced sex between teenagers, but nothing will be depicted onscreen. Additionally, this chapter includes sexual fantasy about teenagers (19 year old Wash thinking about 16 year old Tucker and 15 year old Kai).   
> If I've missed anything in the tags and warnings, please let me know.

It’s a lovely morning, or rather it would be if Wash hadn’t slept through his alarm and woken up to his department head calling to see if he was sick or had managed to expire sometime in the night.  Carolina’s got a twisted sense of humor, one Wash can’t enjoy when he’s in the hot seat.  Now, not only is he half an hour late--and that’s enough to make Wash feel like he’s two feet tall--but he’s supposed to be doing preliminary interviews for the new kids that arrived last weekend.  The first new admittees they’ve had in weeks, not that he actually wanted to see their facility at capacity, but more kids mean more funding mean the Director will get off their backs, at least for a little while.  

“Wash?”

Wash startles in his tracks.  He looks up, and his jaw nearly hits the sidewalk.  Halfway down the block there’s a young woman.  Mid-twenties.  Heart-shaped face.  Skin rich like sunlight on black coffee.  Broad nose and full lips and the biggest pair of brown eyes he’s seen.  Her jean shorts ride up her ample thighs, and her flowy yellow tank top reads “Suns Out, Buns Out” flanked with line drawings of men and women shimmying out of their bathing suits.

It takes a moment to recognize her, but when a broad smile spreads across her face and she bounds down the sidewalk and nearly tackles him, he _knows._ “Oh my god!” Kai squeals as she pulls him into a rib-cracking hug.  “Where the fuck have you been?” She pulls back and shoves his shoulder good-naturedly.  “Seriously, if it weren’t for all the updates I get from Mama Wash, I’d’ve thought you were dead.  What gives?”

“Kai,” he says, still too shocked to make heads or tails of this.

“Duh, brainiac!” She grins, her gaze sweeping up Wash almost suggestively until she takes a good look at his didn’t-have-time-to-shave scruff, his unkempt bedhead, the bags under his eyes.  The first two he planned on dealing with once he got into work; the latter, well those are just how he looks these days.  “What the hell, Wash?  You’ve got no business being this hot after, what, six years?  Eight?  Especially not for a cop.”

 _Nine_ , he corrects as he pinches his brow.  “Kai, for the last time, I’m not a cop.”

“Uh huh.” Kai throws him an exaggerated wink.  “Whatever you gotta do to keep your cover.”

It’s so ridiculous Wash almost laughs.  Almost.  But seriously.  Kai.  What the fuck is shei doing here?  He hasn’t seen her since the day he left for his internship with the Project, that hot May evening as he and his dad loaded Wash’s old clunker with an overstuffed duffle bag of and every psychology textbook he owned.  Kai and Tucker had been there.  Kai’s older brother, Grif, had too; even though he’d aged out of the program, Grif had been welcome since the first day when he showed up on their doorstep, shoulders tensed and hands wringing after first asked if this was the place to find Kaikaina Grif.  Wash’s parents had always had a soft spot for taking in foster kids.  

But when Wash came back home for Christmas that year, they were gone.  Kai had graduated early, and Tucker and Grif were off at some cooking school.  And in the nine years-- _fuck, that’s almost a third of my life_ \--since then, they’d never managed to be in the same place.

Until now.

“Oh my god, this is just crazy.  What’re you doing with yourself these days?”

At the reminder, Wash stuffs a hand into his pocket, clenched tight to keep himself in check.  Yeah, he’s already woefully late, and Carolina’s gonna give him shit for it when he gets in, but it’s Kai.  From the first day he met her, he’s never _wanted_ to say no to her.  Even when she was a confused fifteen year old with no clue how to handle herself in a new foster home, she’d had a way about her.  A veneer of confidence stretched over her insecurities and fears, but with the stubbornness of a bull to stand her ground or have her way.  If they’d met under any other circumstances, she’d have him wrapped so thoroughly around her finger, Wash wouldn’t know what to do without her.

_He can’t focus on his psych reading.  Downstairs, Kai’s chattering away.  Her voice carries up to his second story shared bedroom.  Wash grins to himself at the bright timbre.  She’s been here ten days, and he’s already used to her hustle and bustle.  Her noise.  But she’s happy now, which seems like a miracle in and of itself.  Separated from her brother.  He can’t even imagine it._

_Across the room, Tucker  flops heavily on his bed and sighs.  “Fuck, does she ever shut up?”_

_Wash looks across the room, gets an eyeful of chocolate brown abs, of hipbones jutting out past Tucker’s shorts.  His blood rushes south.  Squeezing his eyes shut, Wash shakes himself._ Don’t even think about it. _But Tucker’s splayed out right there, sixteen and shameless.  Like a wet dream and a nightmare rolled into one._

 _“She’s just adjusting,” Wash says calmly.  “Give her a few more days, and she’ll level out.”_ I hope.

_Tucker hums, his brow pinching as he stares at the ceiling.  Wash knows that face.  Without hesitation, he dogears his Intro to Psych textbook and crosses the room.  He sits on the corner of Tucker’s bed, leaving a respectful space between his hip and Tucker’s side.  Tucker doesn’t quite look at him.  That’s fine.  That’s just how Tucker is.  He won’t open up until he’s prodded._

_“Everything okay?” Wash asks._

_Tucker shrugs.  “I guess.”_

Yeah, that sounds convincing. _“You know it’s okay to be uncertain about a new person in the house.  As much as Kai needs time to adjust to being here, we do too.”_

_“Sheesh, half a semester into a psych degree, and you’re already trying to play shrink.”_

_“I’m just saying, it’s hard on us too.  You shouldn’t feel bad if it’s challenging for you.”_

_Tucker heaves a sigh.  “It’s not… I mean, I don’t feel... Wash,” Tucker rolls onto his side and looks up at him, “how do you do it?  How do you just_ not _catch feelings?”_

_Wash’s brow wrinkles, but before he can press, he hears quick, thundering footsteps upstairs, and a moment later Kai barges through their half-open bedroom door.  Her short hair curls out in all directions, and she’s grinning like there’s a sun burning in her chest.  Tucker rolls his head over to see the door. “Yo, what up?”_

_“Dudes,” she says as she seats herself cross-legged at the foot of the bed, “your dad’s down the street checking out some stuffy lady’s tomato plants, and your mom went to go pick up dinner.” A sly grin pulls across her face.  “You boys up for a quickie?”_

_His cheeks burn.  “W-what?”_

_Kai rolls her eyes.  “You know, you scratch my back, I suck your dick.  Oooh, we could do a train thing?”_

_“What?” His voice screeches higher.  He can feel the bed vibrating as Tucker tries and fails at not laughing._

_“No homo, dudes.  I can go in the middle and finish off the caboose.  I’m super bendy.  See?”  To demonstrate, Kai lifts her leg over her head and hooks her ankle behind her neck._

_And Wash can only stare.  Because yeah, there’s nothing subtle about Kai.  Nothing understated.  He can’t stop himself drooling over the paler skin of her inner thighs, the sparse dark hairs showing near the hem of her jean shorts, end everything hidden by the denim._

_“Woah,” Tucker whispers, probably just as awed by the sight.  “Where’d you learn to do that?”_

_Kai.  And Tucker.  Here.  In his bedroom.  His semi swells inside his boxers, burning against his thigh.  If he weren’t wearing such tight jeans, he’d be sporting the world’s most obvious tent right now._

_When Kai doesn’t answer immediately, Wash looks up.  A blush spreads across her cheeks, her eyes downcast and one of her hands playing with the bedspread beneath her.  Lost in her own head.  Dissociating.  Trying to pull herself out of it._

_All at once Wash snaps back to himself._ What are you thinking! _Because the girl showing off in front of him is_ way _too young to be talking about any of this.  With anyone, not just two someones at once.  Especially if one of those someones is him.  And the ease with which she does is nothing short of troubling.  His chest tightens, and a chill slithers up his spine._

_“I mean,” Tucker says quickly, “I’d be down, but I’m not the one you’ve gotta convince.”  Tucker pokes him in the side.  “How about it, Wash?  You down to clown around with a pair of nubile, young hotties?”_

_His ears burn.  All too quickly, Wash jolts out of bed, putting a safe distance between himself and his younger foster siblings.  “No.”  His voice cracks.  “That’s not how that word works, Tucker.  Not how anything would--” Wash shakes his head.  “There will be no clowning!  No, no, no.  Not ever.  No.”_

_Tension radiates through the room.  Wash can’t bring himself to look at Tucker or Kai as he makes a break for the backyard, throwing himself into all the chores he’s been putting off for the weekend.  When his mom calls out the back door that dinner’s ready, Wash asks her to set aside a plate for him and heads upstairs to shower._

_The moment he’s alone under the spray of warm water, his erection comes back with a vengeance.  It’s the only reliable privacy he’s gotten in years, so his response to the sound of shower starting up is practically pavlovian._

_Wash takes himself in hand, ready to beat one out quick.  Instead, the image of Kai tearing off her shorts and sitting on his face flares across his mind.  Her thighs against his ears.  Her tangy taste spreading across his tongue._

_He shakes away the thought, but then Tucker barges into his imagination, naked as the day he was born and pinning Wash to the bed and grinding their dicks together.  Hard, and slick, and wonderful._

_Left and right, the pair of them keep popping up until Wash bites his fist and comes hard at the thought of them working together to get him off, two mouths hot and insistent on his cock.  As he comes down from the high, Wash pretends the hot water is Kai and Tucker cuddled around him, stroking his hair and whispering kind words to combat all the awful things his rational brain is hissing at him._ Fuck. _If only they were loud enough to drown out those harsh truths._

Wash flushes at the memory, ducking his head and clearing his throat.  “Working mostly,” he answers with a shrug.  

“Oh yeah, the kid stuff, right?”

He winces.  “Don’t call it that.  “Kid stuff” sounds….just wrong.”

Kai gives him a thoughtful look for a moment before the realization hits.  She snorts into her palm, cackling mischievously.  “Oh shit!  That sounds _so_ bad.”

Wash’s chest tightens, his throat constricting.  Fuck, he’d forgotten how much he loved her laugh.  How much he’d missed it.  Shaking himself, Wash continues.  “But yes, I’m a counselor for at-risk youth.”   _And I am so very late I’ll be lucky if the Director doesn’t rip me a new one._  “How about you?  How’re,” Wash pauses, not even sure what she does for a living, if she still sees her brother frequently.  Or Tucker.  “How’re things?”

“Oh biz is booming,” she says, grinning.  “I’ve got so many subscribers, I don’t know what to do with myself.  Half of them just want the same old thing every time, and the other half are all obsessed with feet or figging.  I mean, seriously.  It’d be boring if it didn’t keep me off the streets.”

“Of course,” Wash answers automatically before all those words actually lodge in Wash’s brain.  “Wait...what?”

Kai shrugs.  “They always say do what you love, am I right?”

Deciding that line of questioning is better left untouched, Wash squeezes his fist tighter and draws in his shoulders.  “You talked to Tucker recently?”

And Kai’s face lights up like a Christmas tree lit by supernovas.  “Duh, he’s only my main squeeze after all.”  Wash feels his cheeks burn, but Kai just barrels onward.  “Yeah, he’s doing great.  Him and Dex are working at a bakery over on Burnside.  Some old hippie guy has been grooming them to take over for him.  We should grab lunch sometime!”

Wash opens his mouth to object but before he can speak, Kai has her phone out and Wash is telling her his number.  She grins and says something about making it happen before she steps back into Wash’s space, stands on her tiptoes, pecks his cheek, then carries on down the road calling a quick goodbye over her shoulder.  For ten seconds, Wash just stands there, stunned.  He touches his cheek, now doubly red as he tries to take control of his legs.

He’s a grown ass man now dammit.  He can’t just stand here like an idiot, wasting his time pining over the people he already lost his chance on.  The people it would be wrong to love.

Sighing, Wash turns and runs the rest of the way to work.  He makes it for his interview, but only barely, and when he gets back to his office, there’s a text from an unknown number with a date and time, street address, and a note that if he backs out Kai will be having words with Mama Wash.  Flushes again, Wash forces himself to smile and adds the date to his calendar.

Maybe after all these years, he’s finally ready.  Maybe now’s the time to take a chance and make things right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No special warnings for this section other than Tucker's relentless negative self talk, which I've added to the main tags

Tucker knows what’s happening.  He’s never been in this exact position before, but he’s seen this shit go down a dozen times.  Maybe more.  Sure, lots of singles flit through Cornflower Bakery, stopping to snack on a cupcake or a muffin while they get some work done, but anytime a couple comes in to have lunch, disaster is right around the corner.

 _Jesus, quit overthinking this._  Tucker swallows as he slumps down in the table he snagged at the back of the bakery, the one with the best view of the door but can’t be seen easily from the counter.  He bites the inside of his cheek.  Hard.   _Just because you’ve seen a bunch of people break up while you’re on shift, that doesn’t mean that’s what’s happening now._  But the thought sticks in his mind like a bad top forty hit.  

Every time the little bell over the front door jingles, Tucker’s heart jolts, his gaze darting up from the large glass of ice water he’s been nursing since his shift to scan the room.  Normally, he’d be home by now, stripped out of his work clothes, fresh from a shower and free of all the flour and grime from his work day, and sprawled across his couch snoozing while the X-Box boots up.  But Kai wanted to meet him here for lunch, though God only knows why.  He can make a better sandwich at home, the same ingredients without the ridiculous mark-up Flowers insists on.  But when has Tucker ever been able to say “no” to Kai?  He honestly can’t remember.  

So Tucker folds his arms across the table, rests his chin on his crossed wrists, and waits.  A bedraggled young woman in an ill-fitted pantsuit and work-mussed hair steps through the front door and up to the counter.  Her glasses slide down her nose as she reads orders off a scrap of paper.  Tilting his head, Tucker looks his fill, because what the fuck else has he got going on until Kai shows up?  

The woman would be pretty if she nixed the pantsuit and let her hair down.  If he were working,  he’d be hitting on her without a second thought, maybe just to see if she’d smile, maybe for a shot at getting her phone number.  No, the odds aren’t in his favor, but a guy’s gotta stay in practice.  Never know when you’ll need to sweet talk someone.  Or when the girl you’ve been on-again-off-again with for the last decade will wise up to your bullshit and find someone worthy of her time.  

And just like that, the knot in his chest winches tighter.

The next time the door opens, a familiar wave of tropical scents crash over him: cocoa butter, gardenia, coconut.  Tucker’s gaze snaps to the front of the store, to Kai pushing her way inside.  Today, her hair’s a mess of curls, her dark, round cheeks full of freckles.  In lieu of her usual crop top and cut offs, she’s sporting a yellow and black sundress that should make her look like a bumblebee but doesn’t.  She scans across the bakery until she spies Tucker, throws him a grin and a wink.

Just the sight of her makes Tucker smile as his mouth goes dry.  Fuck, he must’ve been the goddamn messiah in his last life to have found a girl like Kai.  She’s smart and sassy and lets him get away with everything, mostly because she’s right there with him, pulling the exact same shit.   _Wonder if she’d be up to meeting me in the bathroom and sticking it to the health code.  Bow chicka--_  

Kai ducks outside.   _Okay, that’s….weird._  Tucker sits tall and runs a hand through his hair to steady himself.   _Deep breaths, be cool.  Just ‘cuz Kai’s acting weird today and has a history of not really calling you up for lunch dates,  that doesn’t mean she’s about to break up with you.  Sure, she’s probably got a couple thousand fans who have their shit put together enough they can sponsor a cam girl; that doesn’t mean she’s gonna run out on you.  Besides, you know if she really wanted to break up she’d never be able to do it in person.  After all the shit you’ve been through together, there’s no way she’d be able to watch as she broke your heart._

Tucker curls his fingers together under the table, his eyes trained on the door.  But when Kai comes back in, dragging a man behind her, Tucker’s heart nearly stops.  Not because oh God, he’d been wrong about everything and Kai really is a heartless bitch who wants to watch his world implode.  No, because Tucker totally recognizes the guy she’s pulling into the bakery, even though he looks about twenty years worse for ware.

Gray hair around the temples lightening that familiar dirty blond.  Brow knitted so tight he’s probably got premature wrinkles.  Mouth pursed into a frown that still makes Tucker’s stomach flip.  And when Kai gestures toward him, the guy follows her hand, and those exhausted steely blue eyes lock on Tucker.

What.  The actual.  Fuck.  Where the hell did Kai manage to find stupid, stick-up-his-ass-and-not-in-a-fun-way David-Fuckin-Washington?  And why the fuck did she drag him down to Tucker’s place of business?  Is she trying to kill him?

But when Wash sees him, the line between his eyebrows eases, and his jaw drops.  He blushes, and without a moment’s pause, Tucker’s taken aback.

 _He gets home late Thursdays because it’s the one day coach always keeps them late for swim practice, and Church can’t be assed to wait around the extra hour.  So instead of riding high in the back seat of Church’s shitty Volvo--passenger seat gets reserved for Tex, even on the days she hangs out with her upperclassmen friends after school--Tucker’s stuck walking home.  School’s already a few weeks in; he should be used to it by now, getting ditched after school, but it still stings.  Whatever, not like Church has a legit car, just an old Volvo, which by the way has_ totally _been a piece of shit since it rolled off the assembly line, just saying._

_Maybe Wash would pick him up Thursdays after his work-study shift at the local college library ends.  The thought sends a little tremor of excitement down Tucker’s spine.  Sure, the Washington’s house isn’t far, but after practice, all his muscles are jellified.  And yeah, that would mean ten to fifteen minutes of uninterrupted alone time.  No Richard calling them down to dinner.  No Gail ducking her head in their room to make sure they don’t need anything.  No Kai bouncing in and flashing her bendiness in everyone’s face and making Wash run for the hills.  Just him and Wash._

_Tucker grins to himself as he climbs up the front porch steps, unlocks the front door, and slides inside.  Fuck, he’s hungry.  Who’s to say what time dinner will be happening, so he drops his backpack  at the foot of the stairs and goes scrounging for a snack.  Literally two steps from the kitchen door, he hears voices and stills._

_“Oh come on.”  Wash sighs so hard Tucker can picture his red-red cheeks.  “Why won’t you work?”_

_Kai giggles.  “This is a lot more involved than you said it was.  No way we’re done before Tucker gets home.”_

_“Oh, we’ll get it done.”_

Bow chicka bow wow, _Tucker thinks just as Kai says it.  A warm feeling squirms through Tucker’s chest.  Damn, she’s picked up on that fast.  Wash exhales hard, and something, probably the kitchen table, creaks.  “Told you it was hard to find,” Kai says._

_“It’s not hard at all!  That’s the problems!”_

_Wait...are they…?_

_Eyes wide and unfocused, Tucker creeps back to the front door, then re-opens and slams it a little louder.  He stomps down the hall and into the kitchen.  Plenty of time for them to get themselves decent.  If they weren’t to start with.  Which, they are, right?  That would just be….ridiculous…._

_But Wash doesn’t have Kai bent over the table.  And Kai hasn’t climbed into his lap to smother him with her tits as she rides him.  No, the pair of them are hunched over a took and a few sheets of paper, graphite smudges on their fingers and en exasperated flush coloring Wash’s cheeks.  When Wash looks up and sees Tucker standing there, he offers a stiff little grin. Kai smiles too, elbowing Wash in the side.  “Told you we couldn’t finish before Tucker got home.  Not even if you helping, braniac.  Algebra’s hard.”_

_Algebra.  Right.  Homework.  That’s what’s happening here.  Not something dirty and taboo and hot as fuck.  His stomach clenches._ Idiot.

 _Rolling his eyes, Wash smothers a laugh in his chest, holding up his hands and walking away from the table, straight for Tucker.  “Fine, then_ you _can figure it out all on your own.”_

_“Noooo!”_

_Wash looks up and for just a moment, his eyes bright and full of something light and unbothered. Something Tucker hasn’t seen before.  Wash looks not just content or happy, but honest to god bursting with mischief and joy.  He even winks, and Tucker’s breath catches in his chest.  Fuck, his stupid crush always sneaks up on him when he least suspects it._

_And then Wash turns and marches back to the kitchen table, trying and failing at being grumpy when Kai cheers.  For a long time, Tucker can’t do more than blink and watch them working and joking around, can’t take his eyes off Wash as the realization sets in.  Tucker’s been living here for three years, seven months, and nine days, and not once in all that time has he ever seen Wash look so happy.  Not during Christmases.  Not at his graduation.  Nothing more than a contented grin or a look of fond amusement._

_Well, nothing until Kai showed up._

_A bad taste wells at the back of his throat, sour and bitter like bile, but when he swallows, it sinks into his stomach like a piece of lead.  And unbidden, a thought creeps across his mind, one he thought he’d smothered long ago, but hey, surprise surprise._ “You don’t belong here.”

_Biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from reacting, Tucker looks down at his shoes.  It’s a dumb thought; if he wasn’t wanted here, the Washington’s wouldn’t keep going out of their way to make him feel at home.  If they got nothing out of his presence, they would’ve just sent him back to child services.  But looking at Kai and Wash, bright and shining in each other’s presence, yeah, suddenly Tucker’s not so hungry anymore._

_Without a word, Tucker backs out of the kitchen, watching them as he goes, half-hoping Kai will look up and call him a creeper, or Wash will suggest he dig out those biology assignment he’s been complaining about all week.  But no one notices him disappear upstairs, into his twin bed that’s so close to Wash’s he can practically smell him.  And Tucker can’t quite find it in himself to blame them._

Kai clears her throat, jolting Tucker back to the present.  She gives him a look before bumping her shoulder against Wash’s, urging him forward.  “So, look who I ran into!” She pushes Wash into the nearest chair before rounding the table and kissing Tucker on the cheek.  “I don’t remember the last time all of us were together.  And since it always seems like one of us can’t make it to Mama Wash’s shindigs, I thought, what the fuck, let’s do our own thing.  Shoot the shit.  Chew the fat.  Y’know, catch up.”

Tucker sighs, a tension headache tap dancing along his temples.  Fuck, Kai has enough energy to run a marathon and keep going, but Tucker’s been around her long enough to knows how to deal with these moods.  

He opens his mouth, ready to make up some excuse, _any excuse_ , because if he has to spend another five seconds around Wash, Tucker will not be held responsible for his actions.  And after Wash went off to his fancy internship and grad school and he and Kai moved out on their own, well, Tucker doesn’t give two shits about maintaining anything resembling civility around him.  Instead, he gets an eyeful of Kai’s patented puppy dog pout.  Huge glossy eyes, and a near quivering lower lip, and fuck how does she just _do_ that?  

Cursing under his breath, Tucker summons up every ounce of energy he has to be cheerful and personable.  Though his reserves are depleted after a full shift working in the kitchen and behind the counter, he’ll try.  For Kai.  “Yeah, sure. Let’s chat.”

Wash flinches at Tucker’s tone.  Good, at least one person here can tell he’d rather be anywhere else.  But Kai throws him a grin, grabbing her wallet out of her purse and nodding toward the counter.  “Awesome!  Imma get us some apps.  Maybe a mimosa for me.  Gotta get my drank on.”

As she goes, Tucker shakes his head and rubs his brow.  Jesus, this is a bakery, not a cocktail bar, but if Tucker knows Kai at all, she’ll be back with a tray of mini pop-overs and coffee mugs filled with alcohol and OJ.  If he weren’t usually reaping the benefits of her tenacity, he’d be so fuckin’ jealous.  

“So,” Wash says, the syllable drawn out and uncertain.  When Tucker’s eyes snap to him, Wash’s cheek’s darken.  His shoulders draw inward, and he looks down at his lap.   _Coward._  “How have you been?”

Really?  Nine years, and _that’s_ all Wash has to say.  “ _How have you been?”_  Tucker glowers, his lips drawing back reflexively.  “Look, I’ll talk or whatever, but I’m not gonna pretend to make nice here.”

Wash shifts in his chair, his brow furrowed as he looks up at Tucker.  “Kai didn’t,” Wash gulps.  “She didn’t tell you I was coming?”

Tucker lets the _bow chicka bow wow_ roll through his mind unspoken. “Nope.”

Wash face palms with a soft “Jesus Christ.”  When he looks up, he’s blanched sheet white.  “Fuck, I’m sorry, Tucker.  I didn’t think she’d spring this on you.”

Tucker’s heart stops for half a second before it hammers against his ribs and he sees honest-to-God red.  He crosses his arms over his chest and slumps down in the chair.  “I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised.  Not like you’ve ever been able to own up to your problems.  Why should that have changed?”

Wash’s brow furrows again, frowning.  “Tuck, what are you--”

“No,” Tucker spits out, cutting off Wash’s question because no.  He is not dealing with this.  This we-used-to-be-friends bullshit.  “You don’t get to call me that.  You don’t get to pretend like you didn’t run after the first opportunity that came your way.  Like you didn’t go find yourself some shiny new friends and dump the rest of us in your wake.”

For a split second, Wash’s eyes go wide.  His throat quivers just a moment before he sucks in a harsh breath through his nose and puffs up in his seat.  “Oh, and that’s just how it is, huh Tucker?  The only explanation for the way things are?  Fuck what everyone else thinks or says.  You know all so obviously you must be right.”

“Oh-ho, bitch, don’t even start,”  Tucker rises up in his seat, crowding forward against the table.  He’s worn out and tired and ready to throw down with this fucking asshole just for the thrill of it.  “You don’t get to play victim.  You left the first chance you got.”

“When I graduated.  From college.  That’s what adults do, Tucker.  They leave.  At least I said goodbye!”

Wash’s words echo so loud through the bakery, startling the patrons and kitchen staff into silence.  Every eye in the store is fixed on their little table.  Realizing what he’s done, Wash flushes again, his gaze darting away from Tucker almost ashamedly.  Good.  Because Tucker’s got his fist clenched so hard under his arm to keep himself from running.

A few moments later, Kai ambles over with a plate of mini scones and three cups of coffee balanced in her arms, chuckling to herself but her eyes are too wide and her laugh is too flinty to be genuine.  She looks between Tucker and Wash, and comments, “Woah, who died?”

Eyes stinging, Tucker shakes his head sharply before looking Wash dead in the eye.  His voice coils tight at the back of his throat, but Tucker forces himself to speak.  “Yeah, Wash, because saying goodbye _totally_ takes the sting out of it.”

Ducking his head once more, Wash pushes his chair away from the table and retreats, his shoulders slumped and his gait fast, faster than Tucker has ever seen Wash move.  Kai looks between Wash retreating out the door, the pastries and coffee she’s collected, and Tucker.  He can’t make out her expression.  Watery eyes.  Pursed lips.  Deflating posture.  With a sigh, Kai slumps into her chair and shoves an entire scone into her mouth, chewing ruefully.

Tucker blinks through his indignant tears and takes a deep breath.  It sucked to live through, but at least the final nail is in the coffin of his stupid childhood crush.  Now, he can move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, and concrit welcome! Come scream with me on Tumblr (birdsbeesandlemonadetrees.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features sexual content, both a cam girl masturbation scene and referenced underaged sexual situations.

Some nights, Kai loves her job.  Getting paid to masturbate on camera from the comfort of her own home?  That’s, like, the dream.  Ten times over.  Kai’s got the libido of a teenager who’s seen his first pair of tits and the stamina of a polar bear.  She can and will edge herself for hours, alternating between big beefy dildos, industrial strength vibrators, and her own fingers.  Yeah, some nights being a cam girl is balls-to-the-wall awesome.

Tonight is not one of those nights.

Tonight, she’s doing a private show for one of her higher tier backers who’s been with her since the beginning, a guy with the username squirtz_mcgee whose very particular request comes with a glossy, too-expensive-to-consider, brand new toy for her collection.  An honest to God Sybian.  It’s a dream come true and a nightmare in the making.

Dressed in a barely there lace bralette and a pair of crotchless panties, Kai lasts about five minutes before the randomized vibrations on her clit, pussy, and ass tip from almost nice to tear-out-her-hair painful.  But the guy wanted to see her overstimulated, and at the rate he’s lighting up her chat window, all praise and dirty talk, the machine is hitting _all_ the marks.  So Kai holds herself together through the first half of their thirty minute session, letting out some very genuine moans and finishing around the seventeen minute mark.  And, because she’s a goddamn professional, she rides to out the session, tears falling from her eyes and very genuine cries escaping until the timer clicks off and Kai collapses onto her bed, absolutely drained.  

Pushing herself upright, she wipes the tears off her cheeks and gives squirtz_mcgee a sunny smile.  “Holy fuck, that was an experience.”

 _“Thank you so much, Alana.  You are absolutely beautiful,”_ squirtz messages, ever the gentleman.   _“Do you have someone to take care of you after all that?”_

Kai grins.  “Nah, you know me, Squirty.  I’m too much woman for anyone to handle.”  She blows him a kiss and calls, “See you on the next stream,” before stopping the camera and collapsing onto her bed properly.  

Fuck, after that wild ride, she’s sore and sweaty and keyed up enough the thought of going to bed alone just kills her.  Kai grabs her phone off the night stand.  No new messages.  She pulls up her thread with Tucker.  Her thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment before she starts typing.   _“Hey, you wanna hang out?  The last week’s been hell.”_

As she waits for a response, she scrolls through their messages and sighs.  Tucker’s avoiding her.  Has been since their near-disastrous lunch with Wash a month ago.  For the first week, Kai had been willing to accept his excuses and let him behave like a child who’s had his favorite toy taken away.  From time to time, Tucker gets these kind of moods, and it’s just a matter of waiting it out until he’s ready to talk.  

But it’s going on a month now, and her patience is wearing thin.  Because after a certain point, having your best friend turn you down just fuckin’ hurts.   _And I’ve got the texts to prove it,_ Kai thinks as she thumbs through her phone

On the twentieth, there’s _“Dude, there’s a TGN marathon on, and I’ve got a bottle of pomegranate schnapps with our name on it.”_ which got all of _“sorry.  long shift.  just wanna sleep.”_ in response.

On the thirty-first, she sent _“I am a stress Sham-Wow!  Want a massage?  Happy ending negotiable ;)”_ to which Tucker replied, _“lol, maybe another time._ ”

And on the ninth, in a spectacular display of desperation, she tried, _“Who has two thumbs and wants to eat dat ass? This gal! My place after work?”_   _“LMAO!”_ Tucker replied, _“Fuck, bad timing.  Grif made ghost pepper burritos last night.”_   _“OMFGWHHHHYYYYYYY?”_   _“just needed another reason to hate myself, lol.”_

 _I mean, c’mon, he’s never turned down a good rimming.  Never._  For almost a month, it’s been excuse after excuse.  And still she keeps reaching out.  Because why the fuck wouldn’t she?  There’s no way Tucker will talk to her if he doesn’t know she’s there for him.  Sure, she’s giving him space, not hassling him every hour on the hour.  She should’ve made _some_ progress by now.

Her phone buzzes.   _“Didn’t you have a stream tonight?”_

_“Already taken care of.  I just gotta clean up.  Was thinkin’ pizza from Antonio’s.  Sound good?”_

And for five solid minutes, all she gets is radio silence.  She’d be frustrated if it weren’t so fucking predictable.  Used to be, Tucker would come over and help her find a little relief on off days or after a stream--when you get paid to fuck yourself on camera, masturbation loses its charm pretty quickly--but yeah, Tucker’s being a dick about everything else, why wouldn’t he withhold his girthy monster?

Playing a hunch, she adds, _“I was thinkin Netflix, hold the chill, unless you wanna twist my arm about it.”_

_“sorry, not gonna be good for much tonight, company or otherwise. u should ask around.  i’m sure u’ve got a hundred guys lined up.”_

She gapes a the little blue screen in her hands.  What the fuck?  Does Tucker actually think she’s sleeping around on him?  Yeah, they’ve each had their fair share of one night stands--they’re young and dumb and alive, so why not fuck who they want to fuck--but they’ve always found their way back into each other’s beds.  Like boomerangs.  Or magnets.  They’ve been like that since high school, back when they were still trying to figure out how to be themselves, not just around the Washington’s but around each other too.

_It’s late.  So late when Kai closes her eyes she can hear everything.  The air conditioner wheezing out cool to fight the August heat.  The twinkle of Mama Wash’s wind chime collection hanging from the front porch eaves.  The high chirp of Papa Wash’s snores.  But over it all, she hears bedsprings creaking across the hall.  Tucker tossing and turning._

_Biting her lip, Kai slinks out of bed, her bright yellow blanket wadded in her arms as she creeps across the hall and quietly slips inside Tucker’s room.  Despite the hour, it’s a bright summer night.  Moonlight drifts through the curtains, illuminating a modest pile of cardboard boxes all labeled with Tucker’s neat narrow letters.  Kai weaves around the boxes, finds Tucker half-risen out of bed, brow creased as he strains to see.  Without a word, he smiles weakly and pulls back the covers._

_Grinning sleepily, Kai squeezes into the bed beside him, curling up against his chest and throwing an arm around his waist.  With a soft hum, Tucker nuzzles his face into her hair, his entire body relaxing into her.  “Couldn’t sleep, sugarbutt?” she whispers._

_He nods._

_Kai exhales softly, trying to keep the tension out of her voice. “You anxious about tomorrow?”_

_Tucker shrugs._

I don’t blame him.  Who wouldn’t be nervous about starting over? _Kai’s eyes prickle at the thought, but she blinks away her tears.  “You and Dex are gonna knock all the other cooks out of the water.”_

_“Chefs,” Tucker corrects quietly, but Kai can hear his grin.  “I don’t know, Kai.  I mean, Grif knows his shit when it comes to food, but me?  I feel like I’m gonna show up on the first day and make an ass of myself.”_

_“Hey, that’s my ass!  Don’t go flaunting it around willy nilly.” She feels Tucker’s chest rumbling against her cheek.  “And if you do gotta show it off, it better be to someone hot as fuck!  Maybe a dirty blonde to get that out of your system.”_

_Tucker tenses almost without warning.  Goes distant in the space of a second.  Kai can guess where he’s looking: at the bare twin bed and empty desk and bookshelf across the room.  At the hole they’ve been not talking about since  spring when Wash found out he’d gotten accepted to an internship and grad school out of state.  Tucker or the Washingtons would argue nothing changed until after Wash left in May, but Kai’s known everything’s been different since Wash opened his acceptance letters._

_Before Tucker can shut down on her, Kai tightens her arms around him and asks, “Have to told him about getting into culinary school?”_

_“How would I have done that?  He’s so busy he barely returns my texts.”_

_“I mean, you could call him.”_

_“Kai, can we not?  Please?”_

Fuck.   _Kai bites her lip and buries her face into Tucker’s chest.  She did it again.  Pushed for too much too fast.  Likely fucked it all up because she couldn’t read him well enough.  Not like Wash could.  If Wash were here, things would be better.  Tucker wouldn’t be so stuck in his head, second guessing his every decision and making himself miserable.  And Kai can’t help feeling responsible._

_If they were anywhere else, she’d squirm down, pull away all the sheets rumpled around Tucker’s groin and suck him until he smiled again.  But they have a rule, have since they started sneaking into each other’s beds six months ago, before Tucker turned eighteen: no fucking in the house.  No disrespecting the people who have been the best family either of them have known.  Fuck, even Dex comes over for Sunday dinner most weeks.  It’s just not worth the risk.  No matter how perpetually horny she and Tucker seem to be._

_“I’m sorry,” Kai mumbles, pressing a kiss to Tucker’s chest like some small penance._

_Tucker sighs under her lips.  When she pulls back, she turns around and lets him spoon up against her back, arms and legs entwined like a pair of octopuses--octopi?  Oh, but that doesn’t matter.  Not when she can feel Tucker’s shaky breath against her neck, deep and just a touch ragged.  She stays quiet and still and lets Tucker work himself up until he’s ready to talk._

_“It’s okay, Kai,” he whispers against the shell of her ear, sending shivers up and down her spine.  Kai squirms but stops herself from grinding back against him.  “It’s not your fault.  I just, I miss him, okay?  And not in a homesick, foster brother way.  But he doesn’t,” his voice breaks, and Tucker has to pause and breath deep.  “He doesn’t want me like that, and he never will.  Yeah, it’s stupid, holding onto the idea of him, but Wash was the first person I ever had who was mine, y’know?  And I just don’t know how to say goodbye to that.  Even if it’s for the best.”_

_Kai understands, but she doesn’t.  Not really.  Because she’s got almost two years worth of eyewitness evidence that says all that’s just plain wrong.  If she had a nickle for every time she’d caught Wash making moon eyes at Tucker before turning beet red and stalking off with his hands clenched, she’d have enough to fill a sock and beat some sense into Tucker.  Even when Wash left, he’d hugged Tucker longer than he hugged his parents.  But she knows better than to say it.  She knows this because if she were in Tucker’s shoes, she wouldn’t want any more hope thrown her way._

_Fiddling with her blanket, Kai whispers, “I still think you should call him.  But what do I know?”_

_Tucker doesn’t answer.  Kai grabs his wrists and pulls his arms more snugly against her.  “Promise I can come visit on the weekends?”_

_“Only if you’re ahead on your school work.”_

_“Bitch, please, you know I’m gonna graduate early.  No way in hell am I spending a full year away from you.”_

_Tucker chuckles.  “Wouldn’t dream of it, babe.”_

Kai frowns up at her phone.  Fuck, how long has it been and how far have they come to turn _“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe.”_ into _“i’m sure u’ve got a hundred guys lined up.”_  Tucker’s her man, and he thinks she’s sleeping around?  Still?  No, they haven’t talked about what they are, mostly because any time she hints about it, Tucker gets weird and blows her off until she lets it go.  But for the better part of a year now, Tucker’s been her one and only.  

Before she can stop herself, Kai has the phone pressed to her ear, the line ringing.  She fidgets on her bed, trying to find a comfy position and failing.  But when Tucker answers, a wave of certainty settles over her.

“What’s wrong?” he says in lieu of hello, and she can hear his exhaustion clear as day in those two simple words.

Closing her eyes, Kai speaks.  “Do you think just ’cuz I take my clothes off on the internet for money that I’m bumping uglies with everyone I meet?”

“Jesus, what the fuck, Kai?”

“Because it feels like you think I think you’re replaceable.”  She pauses long enough for Tucker to contradict her.  He doesn’t.  The silence stings worse than she expected.  “Fuck, how can you think that Tuck?  Was it something I said?”

“No, Kai, you didn--”

“--then what?  Please, just.”  Kai stops herself short, biting her lip as she searches for something, anything to say.  “Look, you matter, okay--”

He interrupts with a sigh.  “I know, Kai.  I just--”

“--no, shut up, I’m not done.  You matter, dammit.  You’re, like, my best friend, okay?  And as long as I have any say in it, that’s not changing.  Whether that means we’re a couple, or fuck buddies, or just hanging out watching old sci-fi shows like when we were in high school, I’m here for you.  You just, you gotta tell me what you want out of this.  Because a girl can only take so much rejection.”  Her voice wavers.  She stares down at her toes and forces herself to keep going.  “Even if I’m still all sunshine and rainbows on the outside, that shit still hurts.”

For a long time, Tucker’s quiet on the other end of the line.  If she couldn’t hear Tucker’s unsteady breathing, she would’ve thought the call dropped or he’d hung up on her. And yeah, that’s not a fun thought.  But Kai waits, curling on her side and hugging a pillow to her chest.  It’s cold and too small and squishy to be what she wants to cuddle--who she wants to cuddle--but she’ll deal.

“I’m sorry,” Tucker says suddenly, meekly, like he doesn’t know what to say but knows he needs to say something.  “Fuck, I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I just… when you said you wanted to do lunch, I thought you wanted to break up.”

Eyes wide, Kai squeezes the pillow tighter.  “Never, sugarbutt.  Though it’s kinda hard to break up if you don’t know if you’re dating or not.”

Tucker groans.  “God, how fucked up is this?  I was on edge all shift, and then you walked in with Wash, and I just…”

“I should’ve warned you, I know.  But I thought it had been long enough maybe you would’ve just been happy to see him again like I was.  I didn’t think.”

“It’s not that,” Tucker says softly.  “I just, you know how it feels when you see someone from high school and they’ve got everything you ever wanted?  That sick feeling in your stomach because if they can do it, why can’t I?  It felt like that.  But worse.”

“Because it was Wash?”

“Maybe?  I don’t know.  Look, it sucks, okay?  Is that what you’ve been waiting for me to say, Kai?  Yes, I miss him.  Yes, I wish we could make things right.  But I don’t have it in me to deal with all this right now.  It’s just easier to be angry.”  He sighs and adds, “I’m sorry I lumped you into that.”

Kai stares at the, still processing everything Tucker’s finally, _finally_ , let out.   But underneath all that hubbub, Kai hears the truth.  To Tucker, stewing in his anger and hurt is so much safer than opening himself up to the possibility of more pain.

For all of five seconds, Kai feels for him.  She gets it.  Taking chances hurts.  A lot.  She knows it.  But honestly, _fuck_ that nonsense.  She’s known Tucker too well for too long to believe for even a moment that he’d rather hold onto all that pain than actually patch things up, actually get some closure.  But only if he could be guaranteed his efforts wouldn’t get his heart drop kicked in the balls.  And it won’t.  Kai believes that one hundred and ninety five percent.

Because Wash still cares.  She saw it when she bumped into him on the sidewalk for the first time year years and again at the bakery.  The lost, longing looks.  The subconscious smiles wrinkling his eyes.  The way his cheeks burn pink before he’d duck or turn away.  At least she had before Tucker opened his mouth and fucked them all over.  But even as he was retreating, Kai swears she could saw hope still warming his eyes. That man wants, and oh, he wants it bad.  Tucker, or Kai, or fuck, maybe bo-- Kai shuts down that train of thought real quick because yeah, she knows wishful thinking when it smacks her on the ass.

“You wanna make it up to me?”

“...depends on what kinda penance you’re offering.”

She grins.  “Don’t worry, I won’t make you sprain your tongue or anything.  Just come over, okay?  Pizza and Netflix and no funny business.  Just you and me.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Tucker says, the first hints of humor reverberating through his voice.  “I’ve been a dick lately.  You deserve a proper apology.”

“I deserve what I want.  And what I want is to snuggle with you.”

Tucker hums.  “I’ll be there.”

Kai grins as she ends the call, hugging her pillow tight as she relaxes into her bed.  Penance, huh?  Well, she might have just the thing.  One last chance, for all of them.  

After she puts in a call to the pizza place around the corner, she shoots Wash a quick text.   _“Hey, you going to your parents’ big anniversary deal next month?”_

And by the time she’s cleaned up from the stream and her order--one large sausage, peppers, and onions, one large hawaiian--is in her oven, ready and waiting for Tucker to show up, her phone dings again.   _“I better be, or Mom’ll never let me hear the end of it.  I requested the weekend off months ago.”_

Grinning, Kai bounces on the balls of her feet.   _“Wanna go splitsies on a Womanizer?”_

Even though she can’t see him, Kai knows, _knows_ , he’s already beet red whether he’s heard of that particular brand or not.  She can picture it and it sends a wave of warmth up her spine.  Shivering, Kai shakes herself.  She can deal with her libido later.  Now, Kai’s got some planning to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I have prepped as of now. I wanted to write more, but this story has been really difficult to write. I intend to write the second half, have it outlined and everything, but it may be a while before I get around to it.  
> Questions, comments, and concrit welcome. Come scream with me on Tumblr (birdsbeesandlemonadetrees.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, and concrit welcome. Come scream with me on Tumblr (birdsbeesandlemonadetrees.tumblr.com)


End file.
